Reading "Amoris Laetitiae" II: The Word of God is with us on the Path of Family Life

I would like to continue the theme that I began last month, directing our attention as families within the Church, to the teaching of Pope Francis in his Apostolic Exhortation The Joy of Love. On this occasion I will focus on the first chapter.

The Holy Father encourages us to a deep understanding of family life, and he tries to remind us that the grace that we live in the Church is intimately present in this reality. Some commentators have suggested that the Pope writes too much about the difficulties that are lived in family life today. I think we run the risk of distorting the Pope's thinking if we do not remember that from the point of view of the Gospel the difficulties of family life were precisely where the Lord Jesus focused his attention. The Lord came to heal the human being, and human beings are encountered in the context of their relationships, and among these the family relationship is the most fundamental. The root of human life is in the family; and the Lord always aims to heal the root of things. This is why in Amoris Laetitiae number 21 the Pope does not tire of calling our attention to the example of the Lord:

The Raising of the Daughter of Jairus

Ilya Repin, 1871

Jesus himself was born into a modest family that soon had to flee to a foreign land. He visits the home of Peter, whose mother-in-law is ill (cf. Mk 1:30-31) and shows sympathy upon hearing of deaths in the homes of Jairus and Lazarus (cf. Mk 5:22-24, 35-43; Jn 11:1-44). He hears the desperate wailing of the widow of Nain for her dead son (cf. Lk 7:11-15) and heeds the plea of the father of an epileptic child in a small country town (cf. Mk 9:17-27). He goes to the homes of tax collectors like Matthew and Zacchaeus (cf. Mt 9:9-13; Lk 19:1-10), and speaks to sinners like the woman in the house of Simon the Pharisee (cf. Lk 7:36-50). Jesus knows the anxieties and tensions experienced by families and he weaves them into his parables: children who leave home to seek adventure (cf. Lk 15:11-32), or who prove troublesome (Mt 21:28-31) or fall prey to violence (Mk 12:1-9). He is also sensitive to the embarrassment caused by the lack of wine at a wedding feast (Jn 2:1-10), the failure of guests to come to a banquet (Mt 22:1-10), and the anxiety of a poor family over the loss of a coin (Lk 15:8-10).

It would be a source of great benefit to the daily family environment if we took the time to read, as a family and aloud, day by day, each Gospel passage cited by the Pope. If several times during the week we gathered to hear the words and to contemplate the works of the Lord, we would realize quickly that the Lord did not disdain to encounter the family reality, so often battered by the bruises of life.

Christ and the Woman with the Hemorrhage

Paolo Veronese, c. 1584

As the Holy Father explains in number 22, the word of the Lord is a source of comfort and companionship for every family that experiences difficulties of suffering. For he shows them the goal of their journey, when God "will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, either shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more". (Rev 21, 4).

Often we feel embarrassed as a family when we recognize that we are not perfect, or that we have suffered and also that we have caused wounds. Also there are times when we think that in our neighbors’ families all is fine and everything is well put together! But it is not that way; we all have situations and circumstances that need the grace of God. It is of great comfort to hear in the Gospel the way the Lord Jesus addressed the people he met. His words are addressed to us also.

It should be noted that the Pope teaches us that the Lord comes into the family by his word to encourage us to make our way to the goal that his word itself promises. The Book of Revelation, the great prophetic narration of the final triumph of the Lord of history, speaks of wiping away our tears and putting an end to our sorrows and pains. The road to the victory of justice and mercy at the end of time begins today with the words of the Word Incarnate who himself heals and strengthens us for the road ahead. We first encounter the grace of God as a medicine gently applied to the wound, and then, it extends its effects to strengthen us for the journey toward him.

 

The Good Samaritan

Pelegrí Clavé i Roquer, c. 1831

The Fathers of the Church (like St. Augustine and St. Gregory the Great) noted that the figure of the Good Samaritan (cf. Lk 10: 25-37) teaches us about the mission of Christ and the Church. Like the Samaritan, the Lord went out of his way, he "came down from heaven," as the Creed says, to find us, and to apply "oil and wine" to our wounds. In the parable of the Good Samaritan, the Fathers of the patristic era also noted the importance of the inn where the Samaritan left the injured man so he could convalesce. The inn is a figure of the Church, a place of healing, or better said, a space where one can gather strength. The parable itself indicates that the Good Samaritan will one day return to pay the bill, and in this way it directs our attention to the return of the Lord at the end of time. In the meantime, the Church offers space and time so that the grace of the Risen Christ can heal us and strengthen us. This is the space of the believing community, incorporated into Christ through Baptism, anointed by the Holy Spirit, and destined to glorify the Father.

The Church, where there is a communion of faith, hope and charity, manifests herself in a privileged way within the environment of the family. The family is also an inn-Church so that members can gather strength for life. This is why the Holy Father emphasizes so much that the vocation of the family is to ask, to receive and to share the grace that the Lord offers through the Church. Pope Francis says the following in number 29 of Amoris Laetitiae:

 

Cathedral of Valencia

Most Holy Trinity

L. Antonio Planes, XVIII century

With a gaze of faith and love, grace and fidelity, we have contemplated the relationship between human families and the divine Trinity. The word of God tells us that the family is entrusted to a man, a woman and their children, so that they may become a communion of persons in the image of the union of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Begetting and raising children, for its part, mirrors God’s creative work. The family is called to join in daily prayer, to read the word of God and to share in Eucharistic communion, and thus to grow in love and become ever more fully a temple in which the Spirit dwells.

It is true, the "begetting and raising children" within the family is a vital expression of the mission of the Church itself. With "daily prayer, reading the word of God and sharing in Eucharistic communion" the Lord himself heals us and strengthens us for the road ahead. Our homes should "become ever more fully a temple where the Spirit dwells."

I think that for the Pope, speaking to us as a father of a large family, exhorts us to acknowledge tenderness as the first expression of the Holy Spirit’s action within our families. Let us see here in number 28, how the Holy Father speaks to us about tenderness:

Against this backdrop of love so central to the Christian experience of marriage and the family, another virtue stands out, one often overlooked in our world of frenetic and superficial relationships. It is tenderness. Let us consider the moving words of Psalm 131. As in other biblical texts (e.g., Ex 4:22; Is 49:15; Ps 27:10), the union between the Lord and his faithful ones is expressed in terms of parental love. Here we see a delicate and tender intimacy between mother and child: the image is that of a babe sleeping in his mother’s arms after being nursed. As the Hebrew word gamûl suggests, the infant is now fed and clings to his mother, who takes him to her bosom. There is a closeness that is conscious and not simply biological. Drawing on this image, the Psalmist sings: “I have calmed 20 and quieted my soul, like a child quieted at its mother’s breast” (Ps 131:2). We can also think of the touching words that the prophet Hosea puts on God’s lips: “When Israel was a child, I loved him… I took them up in my arms… I led them with cords of compassion, with the bands of love, and I became to them as one who eases the yoke on their jaws, and I bent down to them and fed them” (Hos 11:1, 3-4).

Tenderness is an expression of affection that caresses the wounds of our loved ones. Tenderness heals precisely because it is not deserved, it is offered. And if we do not have hearts made of stone, we respond to tenderness with a tenderness seasoned with gratitude. The presence of tenderness in the family is a sign that we are truly building a temple in the family "where the Holy Spirit dwells." The Lord says by the words of the prophet Ezekiel (Ez 36:26): “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” Since it is sin that often causes us to cling to our resentments, it is a work of the Holy Spirit to humanize us, that is to say, to make our hearts more tender.

May God grant that our homes become spaces where compassion, love and tenderness, reign more and more each day. Amen.

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